i wish i didn't get disappointed

i'm at school, sitting in the library with some friends.

i've noticed that even though i've had exams for the last couple of weeks and all the shit with anthony, i've been a lot less stressed out than before.

i feel, sort of neutral. like nothing's making me sad, and nothing's really making me happy either. i'm just, ok. which is better than suicidal i suppose.

i'm not really looking forward to anything, not really regretting anything, not really wishing for anything. nothing. just emptiness really. but i don't feel bad.

i wish i could sleep though. that bothers me. not being able to sleep. ever. it's really annoying. especially when i look at my phone and wish it would start ringing, and 'Anthony (forbidden #)' would appear on my screen. it hardly ever does though.

i hate it when my phone actually does ring, and then i see that it's adam, not anthony.

i wish i didn't get disappointed.