ink on a pin

I'm bored at work on a friday afternoon and everyone's gone home. It's times like these I think - How can I be sitting here staring at the buttons of my calculator when I could be doing something else? Anything else?

I'm the sort of person who takes class A drugs at 14, who works for a scholarship and then sits back and does no work for 2 years. I see a twenty one year olds soon after my fifteenth birthday and let him come and live with me and my parents. I take about a quarter of the school year off sick. I get good grades in the end, because it's me and things always just work out like that for me, but I know I can do better.

And then there's this whole different part of my life that started about a year and a half ago. Fancy meals and Cosmopolitans. Dresses and shoes, at last! Spur of the moment trips to Edinburgh. Someone who wants to show me off rather than hide indoors with me. Nights spent feeling so safe and warm and comfortable. Feeling as though I could quite easily lie with this person forever. One week in particular that can only be described as magical.

How did fate ever allow you enter my life?

I never knew feelings and emotions (other than bad ones) could sink so deep inside me. So deep they wouldn't even go away when I tried to make them. Like they're tattooed so deep they can never fade.

"Ink on a pin, Underneath your skin,
An empty space to fill in."