the pissed-off express

hmmm.

anthony phoned on saturday night. adam was with me at the time. we were getting ready to go to a party together.

he rang off a number i didn't recognise. i wouldn't have answered if i'd known it was him. he was stoned. he wouldn't tell me where he was. adam left my room and went downstairs to read the paper. annoyed.

he talked about his mum and his uncle. i asked him quick questions and didn't give him time to finish his answers.

i asked him how he was? depressed as fuck. on the pills again. are you actually doing anything about it? i've seen the paperwork for it this time. should be out by the end of the month. that was what you said in december. yeah. things are really different now. (i nodded my head to the reflection in the mirror. i'm so different now) yeah. i know.

he was crying. i pretended i didn't notice - i had a party to go to. i really hope you're well, hannah. (i smiled at the reflection in the mirror) i'm good, anthony. i'm really good. (i wanted to twist the knife in between his ribs - scraping the bone with every turn of the knife) good.

i have to go, anthony. yeah. see you around. take care, princess. (that last word made me melt). i tossed my phone onto the bed and stared at it.

poor anthony. i think he'll be dead by the end of the summer. he's so weak now. so different. i wish i knew what happened to him. november was so long ago. now, i'm strong enough to be able to say that it was his fault. he had me. he threw me away.

thank you anthony. thank you for improving my life.