remorse

'tis me in the suite next door to the schroder suite that doesn't have a name because it doesn't have fancy computers. i hate writing on these keyboards cos all i can hear when i'm thinking of what to write is tap tap tap tap tap tap.
anyway.
i didn't dream about those bugs last night, instead i had this strange dream about beau again. in the dream we were having an affair, like before, and i'm lying to his girlfriend who i'm really good friends with. it was like beau and 'joe' were really good friends, and me and beau's girlfriend monique were really good friends, and we all used to hang out together, and me and beau were going behind monique and 'joe's' backs.
it was confusing.
it felt strange going behind 'joe's' back in the dream. with jordan it didn't count, because we had an understanding; we were allowed to spend time with other people.
in the dream me and beau did so much deceiving and hurting. i think it's better to feel guilty, if you don't that just proves you have no remorse for anything whatsoever.
why do i feel remorse now though when i haven't done anything to hurt anyone?