queen jane approximately

i'm feeling pretty sorry for myself for no reason in particular really. i'm just cold and coughy and smelly. and sad for some reason.
i went through all of anthony's old letters before - i don't really know why. it felt funny reading them; everything's so different now. i remember back in january and february i used to be sort of scared of him.
at the beginning i was just stringing him along with all the rest of the lads i had on the go. and he put so much effort into winning me over. i felt so glamorous back then - so many boys wanting a piece of me.
in a letter he sent me near valentines day he said he knew it had only been a month, but he knew he'd never felt this way about anyone before. and that was when me and jordan were giving it one last try - which fell through, and i ended up falling into anthony's arms.
it's not like that anymore though. i feel like i'm constantly falling and he's hardly ever there to catch me before i reach the ground. he tries so hard though, does so much for me and i repay him by needing him more and more.
he'll end up leaving me in the end like jordan did. and then who'll be there to catch me?
i think i'm going to become good friends with the cold, wet tarmac.