oh the fucking irony

Now I’ve just been kicked off the fucking computer by my fucking butch lesbian looking cunt of a geography teacher. Fuck her, I’m writing this in word and I’ll paste it in later.
Anyway, back to the entry. ‘Joe’ was home this weekend, which was really nice. He won’t be home for a fortnight now though so I’m really going to miss him. I’m missing him more and more every time he leaves me, it’s like Jordan all over. It’s alright for ‘Joe’, because he’s never the one being left behind, he’s always going back to something, whereas I always miss him and have to get on with my life without him again. It’s not fair.
That reminds me, I had a dream about Jordan last night, but I can't really remember what it was about, only that me and him had to meet up to sort out legal matters or something and neither of us wanted to see each other. He was like a ghost. I wish I could remember what we were saying to each other.
Oh well.
Anyway, exam week finished last Tuesday and now we're starting to get all our results back. I remember before I moved school the worst grade I ever got was a C in Woodwork, and I alomst had a fit over it. Most of my grades will be Cs this year I think. But shit happens.
There's a party this weekend, and I told everyone about how I bought a whole outfit for £20, and jesus christ some of the looks I got. Someone even pulled me over and said I wouldn't broadcast the fact if I was you. People here at this school have no idea how lucky they are.
I'm so different to them because they've all been brought up in a way so totally different to the way I was. I can honestly say that I don't feel I belong to a single one of the many groups my year group consists of. No matter how different to each other all their little groups are, not one of them I feel comfortable in.
I've been here for a year, and still I have no really close friends here. They're all just strangers I know bits and pieces about and who know bits and pieces about me. It's exhausting coming here every day and slapping on a smile when all I want to do is cry and go back to bed. And now I know there's no point at all in me being here because I'm doing worse than I was in my old school. HOW FUCKING IRONIC.